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    Start with you.
   Start with you. Being broke all the time is about you not caring about yourself as much as you could be. If you don't value yourself, it's extremely hard to value money well. The choices that you make to spend, save, or borrow money affect your ability to live within your means or beyond them. Recognizing the following may help to start setting you back on the track to being financially stable:
   • Money, or the spending of money, does not equate with your personal value. Money neither defines who you are, nor does money invest you with power. Real power is personal and comes from within; using money to feel powerful is a way of seeking external validation rather than accepting your internal worth.^[1]
   • Suze Orman says that we "spend more than when we feel less than.^[2] When we don't feel good about our self worth, spending in an out-of-control way can be a self-pitying reaction to not having what richer people around you appear to have, and it becomes an excuse to avoid looking deeper inside ourselves to sort out what's really hurting us.
   • One major way to disrespect yourself is to buy what you cannot afford. The spiral that entails involves self-inflicted pain, inability to find enough money to pay for other things or even to repay what you've bought, and settling for a lifetime of debt over a lifetime of enough.
   • Another mistake commonly made by people who earn a reasonable amount of money is to cease to value the bargain. This doesn't mean visiting the dollar stores; it means learning how to ask for discounts, for repairs or returns, for savings. Not doing so because you feel that to do so is "icky" or find that it lacks a sense of generosity is a form of deluding yourself. We live in a system that runs on sales and profit, and you deserve to get those breaks as much as the next person. And for those of you with a college education, the degree doesn't mean you give up streetwise common sense!
   • For women, remember the big one: A man is not a financial plan. No matter how charming, delightful, and forever he seems, you need to keep your financial head screwed on firmly and to be taking good care of your financial needs in savvy, thoughtful ways. Even if he is generous to the point of recklessness with your shopping extravaganzas, this is no excuse to give up your financial autonomy and financial common sense. Sticking to a budget is neither mean nor miserable, so lead by example.
     • A good mate can help with finances, more often by cooperating in frugality and diligent production of income than by lavish spending, and a bad one certainly can hurt them.
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    Dig yourself out by doing what's right not what feels good or simpler.
   Dig yourself out by doing what's right not what feels good or simpler. The intensity of feeling great after a purchase is fleeting, with the item soon old. Suze Orman suggests that you ask yourself three "gatekeeper" questions before buying things: 1. Is it kind(to yourself)? Is it necessary? Is it true (for yourself)?^[3] If you're not able to answer all three of these questions in the affirmative, then the purchase isn't one you should be making.
   • This includes not indulging the loved ones in your life when you know better and when you know that yet another hand-out will only further soften them rather than help them learn the financial realities.
   • Never deplete emergency savings or long-term investments for whims or people in trouble. You're the one headed for trouble if you do this. If this seems hard-hearted, consider Suze Orman's gatekeeper questions again.
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    Review your purchasing
   Create surplus in your life. There are two simple ways to do this: 1. Lower your consumption; and 2. Increase your income. For most people, the first option is the most immediately realistic, although you shouldn't sell yourself short on aiming for the second option as a longer term goal. Get yourself started with the following:
   • Write down everything you spend. Get a little notebook, and add everything from the daily newspaper to the $300 boots. This method works straight away: just as writing down what you eat makes you eat a bit less, writing down what you spend makes you aware of your expenses, and should eventually lead you to spend a bit less. Be ready to be shocked if you're used to excusing your constantly broke state.
   • Start minding about small, pointless expenditure. Don't spend needlessly on those expenses which are not absolutely necessary, and which you could prevent with the right organization skills and willpower: the parking ticket you got because you lost track of time. Cigarettes. The $12 late payment charge just because you've not organized. The gym subscription you don’t use. The taxi because you were running late and you're perpetually disorganized.
   • Set your budget. Don't set one that is hopelessly unrealistic. Set aside a lump of monthly income for real debt reduction (not just paying off interest). Work out your monthly fixed expenses and include set-asides for annual or predictable expenses – car services, holidays. Divide what’s left by 31 to see how much you have to spend each day.
   • Wise up on your food expenditures. Many people with a reasonable income have no idea how much they spend on food. You may think you despise convenience foods, but a long, hard look at your shopping cart may tell another story. The trick is to buy loose, buy big and buy late in the day. Keep the fridge well stocked with ingredients for things that you know you can cook from scratch when you come home late and don't have much time to whip up a grand meal. Build up a repertoire of cheap recipes that everyone loves.
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    Use your frustrations to change your attitude on consumer goods.
   Use your frustrations to change your attitude on consumer goods. One very good way to relieve your sense of deprivation is to stop reading fashion, home style, and consumer technology magazines and flashy TV shows that subtly make you feel bad about not having the latest designer item, gadget, or home improvement (it's not even possible to keep up)--and their ads that boldlymake you feel worse. Can that top-of-the-line camera, step machine, or latest mobile phone really make you feel happier when you know that the purchase is just driving you deeper into debt? No one notices whether you use expensiveshampoo or not, so long as your hair is clean. On the other hand, you don't have to flaunt your thriftiness too much. Keep a healthy balance of knowing what you want versus what you need.
   • Rather than yearn for stuff you don’t have, look at what you already have. If you don’t like it, take it to charitable organizations or put it on eBay if it might sell.
   • Recognize brand obsession. Being loyal to a brand that provides a quality item that endures makes sense. Being loyal to a brand and buying every new thing they develop does not make sense. A very small percentage of people notice the brand of clothing you're wearing. Are you sure you even really want to try to impress them? Being emotional about labels will burn a hole in your pocket. Focus on getting value and quality for your money, and prefer quality over quantity. Remember that many brands are not the quality that their advertising might suggest: a company needs a few ads to invite the world to start buying sustainable quantities of its products, but don't be lulled into buying something where the advertising is the product.
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    Just one's enough...
   Forget about juggling credit cards. It’s not big and it’s not clever to give yourself a false sense of financial prudence, when in fact you're sliding deeper into debt. Instead, play the sniper: pick your cards off, one by one, and save yourself the unnecessary expenses from having too many credit cards. The target is to have only one bank account and one credit card for emergencies. Indeed, if you can whittle down your credit card to a $500 emergency fund card and rely on cash transactions (including debit cards) for everything else, you'll be laughing.
   • Avoid incurring debit card fees, and look for a credit union or bank whose fees will not be too numerous or large if you do err.
   • Credit cards can offer a few marginal benefits over debit cards. But if they tempt you to spend more, like most people, it's normally better to just avoid using them.
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    Steer clear of temptation and danger zones.
   Steer clear of temptation and danger zones. These include motorway services, 24/7 convenience stores, sales, and even the food area of cinema foyers. Do not even attempt to flip through mail order catalogs and risk spending just a small amount on an item. Instead, send the catalog straight into the recycling bag, unopened. If you must walk past designer chains, walk fast, and do not take so as much as a second glance.
   • Don’t become enamored of “money-saving” gimmicks that take up more time and trouble than they’re worth. These include home sewing and bargain hunters’ newsletters. And be cautious of sale items: a bargain saves even more money if you don’t buy it at all.
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    Be prepared.
   Be prepared. Take snacks and bottles of tap water everywhere for the children. Have change ready for parking meters, spare tights in your bag. Never again buy something because you left your other one at home.
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    Spend time with friends making fun from what's already in the cupboard!
   Aim to have a few no-spend days a month. After a while, it becomes a game: how can I run my life today without writing anything down in my little blue book? How ingenious can I be to make do with the things, food, and resources I already have at my disposal? See how often you can turn this into a habit.
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    Be generous where you can afford to be.
   Be generous where you can afford to be. You cannot afford to be Lady Bountiful (for the time being), but you can gift others with time, with support, with friendship, with a spare bed for children’s friends, with a lift for an elderly neighbor, and with tomatoes from your garden. Thrift can easily morph unpleasantly into meanness, but check and see how generous you are: if your own finances are a concern, set a realistic limit on giving such as 10 percent.

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